This will very a very common topic for me to write about as it is something that I am currently learning in depth about, both the science of it and how it has affected my life. For those of you who don’t know, I was diagnosed with Combined Type ADHD in January of 2021 at 22 years old. I have tried a few different strategies and medications to figure out what works best for me. I am still going through the process of finding the right treatments for me whether that’s strategies and habits, medications, or both.
I recently started Adderall to try and see how that would affect me and if it improves my symptoms of ADHD. I have also tried Concerta before. I like both medications, but neither one is the perfect solution. I can tell when they wear off in the evening. When I’m working on college homework or some other important tasks that require a lot of cognitive work that can be a problem. I will say though, when I’m at work the medications have made a dramatic difference that has been incredibly beneficial and important.
When I first started medications for ADHD in this process of finding the right treatments for me, there was an incident at work that I can not go into details about, but it was essentially an emergency situation with mental health. Because of the medications, I was able to remember some critical information that I had to report without having to immediately write it down as I was receiving it. I realized that being able to remember without having to write it down in the moment was a huge piece in the puzzle of how my anxiety developed.
I am writing this today because I am reflecting more on how my anxiety has developed over the years and how undiagnosed ADHD played a role in that. While at work today, I work in a school and today is the first day of summer school, some of my coworkers were making phonecalls in regards to the summer school program. As I was working on other things, I had an epiphany. Part of why I hate making phonecalls and get horrible anxiety about phonecalls has to do with some trauma that I will not go into at this time. The other part is the ADHD that went undiagnosed for such a period of time. There were many times on a phone call where I would freeze up and not be able to answer important questions or provide important details because it was so on the spot. Sometimes the stress of being on the spot and in the moment works well for us ADHDers. Many other times, it does not. For me personally, anytime I had to make a phone call for something important, it was not a positive stress for my ADHD, causing me to freeze and panic. What made it a negative stress for me goes back to that trauma that I’m not going to go into.
For many of us, that freezing up in the moment is the same reason we hate being spontaneously called on in class to read or answer questions. I am currently in college to become a teacher as well as in EMT classes so I can volunteer with my local fire department. There was a period where I did not have any medications and was attending the EMT classes. One day we played a game of literal Hot Potato to review. When catching the potato, we had to answer a question on the spot and in front of our peers. I didn’t have any medications for ADHD at that time and when I caught the potato, I really struggled to answer on the spot. This was all stuff I knew, but that negative stress caused me to freeze.
Reflecting on these isolated moments and seeing the patterns has provided great insight for me personally as to how my anxiety has developed over the years and what I can keep in mind in the future to prevent many of those anxiety attacks I had often. Of course, I do still struggle with some anxiety, especially because of the ADHD symptom of Rejection Sensitivity. If you are unfamiliar with Rejection Sensitivity, the YouTube channel How to ADHD has a great video about it!
Back to that reflecting though, when I have spells of Rejection Sensitivity or anxiety, it is significantly easier for me to bring myslef out of it because I have learned so much and understand more of how my brain works and how that affects me.
Disclaimer: Medications are not the best treatment for everyone. This is just a treatment that seems to work well for me personally. This blog post is a reflection on how it has affected me and my understanding of my brain. Talk to your doctor or a healthcare professional to determine the best treatment for you.
Sorting Through the Shit 