There are so many things happening in the world right now that are overwhelming and exhausting. I honestly never thought that I would be living through a pandemic, a civil rights movement, and so many other things in my lifetime; let alone all at once. Living in the United States in these crazy times is a whole other level of, I don’t know, chaos? Half the country is against the civil rights movement and believe a virus is a political hoax and the other half is stunned and outraged by the high level of ignorance and hate.
I am so incredibly exhausted. I chose a career in Education for multiple reasons. The main reason is that I care about people and want to have a positive influence in guiding the future generations, I know I can accomplish that by simply being an adult in their lives who genuinely listens and cares. One of the other reasons I chose this career is to, well, educate. Some of the most valuable lessons I learned in school, that I never realized how few people actually learned evidently, is how to recognize which sources of information are legitimate and which are not.
Social media plays some interesting roles in legitimate and illegitimate sources of information. During both a pandemic and the intense civil unrest, it’s hard to tell that one distant relative not to believe everything they see on the internet when they share some weird conspiracy theory about the vaccine for coronavirus having some microchip so that the government can track you, when at the same time you need them to have an accurate understanding of the individual personal accounts of what people are experiencing in the front lines of the protests.
And then there are half-truths you seen on social media. Very recently, a five year-old boy, Cannon Hinnant, was murdered. I believe he was white, but I am not 100% sure, he did have light skin though. Yes, that detail is important for what I am about to talk about next. I learned about the murder of Cannon the same way I learned about the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Aiyana Jones, and too many others who lost there lives and have yet to receive justice because of racism and biases in the system. The source that I happened to find out from was Twitter, but that’s not the point of what I’m talking about. Many people I know on Facebook have shared posts calling for justice for Cannon. Many of these same people and posts are crying out that “there isn’t any national attention from the media,” there is, this event actually received international attention, as many other recent events in the United States have. The posts calling for justice are crying out for people to be upset and “where are the protests,” many of these posts also are attempting to make a point that a white kid being killed by a black man isn’t receiving the same attention as people of colour being killed by white people. People are most certainly upset, but protesting isn’t necessary, mourning is. I say that protesting isn’t necessary in this case, and I have seen many posts across various social media platforms explaining this, Cannon’s killer has already been arrested and is in custody. Justice is being served. Unfortunately justice isn’t being served for Breonna Taylor, Elijahe McClain, and the countless others who lost their lives. So again, justice is being served for Cannon, there is no need for us to protest his murder, there is only the need for us to mourn.
There have been recent uproars about sex trafficking. That is an incredibly important issue that we should most certainly be fighting. I’ve seen too many people using this issue as a way to justify their lack of support for the civil rights movement. It’s almost as though we’re being told to pick sides and that we can only be upset about one thing at a time. Oh, and don’t forget, there are still children, living and breathing human beings, in cages in detention centers.
I am so incredibly upset about all of these things. I care about the lives and well-being of other people besides myself. I’m not exactly sure how, but somehow that got twisted into being a radical-leftist thing. I feel that it’s important to note that I do not go to the radical or extreme of either side. I try to stay in the middle as much as possible.
With school starting again soon, there’s another wave of issues arising. I miss my students so incredibly much! The events that occurred at the end of March and beginning of April sent us into distance learning with little to no preparation. Staff and students also missed out on the important closure they get from the last few days of the school year when they get to say their goodbyes. I worry so much about my students constantly. Life came to an abrupt stop for everybody and we all are going through trauma with this. It hurts that I can’t be in-person with my students to help them process the trauma that came with this pandemic.
My school is currently starting with distance learning. I am very grateful that we chose this route. I don’t know how to have the conversation with students about why their classmates, teachers, aides, bus drivers, and so many other people they see throughout the school are dying. That is a conversation I am not prepared to handle. I’m 21 and barely know how to accept death being a part myself. Last year, only a few months before we had to start remote learning, we lost a staff member. I don’t remember the cause of death off the top of my head, but the his death hit us all hard, whether he was someone we worked closely with or not. It was hard enough to lose one staff member. I don’t know if I could handle losing multiple students and coworkers. The thought of that much potential grief is overwhelming and heartbreaking. If you have kids, it might be wise if you haven’t already, to talk to them about death and loss.
There are so many things happening in the world all at once. I am so incredibly overwhelmed and exhausted by, honestly, everything. I mourn the lives lost. I am outraged by injustice and ignorance. It is going to take a long time to heal from the events that have occurred and have yet to occur in the year 2020.
Sorting Through the Shit 