Standing up in a small town takes a lot of bravery. There is a mindset of “this is how it’s always bee, and how it always should be.” Now, I’m sure many of us realize there’s some serious flaws with that kind of mindset. How can you fix a problem if “that’s the way it’s always been and always should be?” You can’t. The problem continues to remain a problem.
I have been very vocal on my social media, not only calling people out on their posts of prejudice and bigotry, but also taking a very clear stance against xenophobia. Many of the people in my life that I grew up around share prejudices. Prejudices directed towards race, sexual orientation, immigration, and many other things. I will never understand the root of these prejudices.
I had been taught many of these prejudices, a direct result of that being a failure to understand and deny a whole other part of myself. Around my sophomore year of high school is when I became “aware.” It was like I could finally see above the fog. I remember a friend telling me a joke that her brother had told her. It had something to do with watermelon and race. I said “I don’t get it.” I know that is a common way to call someone out on their bigoted jokes. Though, I really meant it when I said it in this case. I had no idea what it meant or was trying to imply. She tried to explain. I believe it was an explanation she was given for possibly saying the same words as what I had said. In the end, she semi-admitted to not understanding it either. That was a defining moment (we’ll discuss defining moments another time) in my life. I realized how seriously racism was still a problem. I knew it was a problem, but I never thought about it until it was my own friend.
After that, I became more and more aware of the little instances. Conversations I had with my peers, my friends, and even members of my own family. I was confused. People I grew up with or around, people who taught me so much about caring for others; speaking words of hate against whole peoples for being different. I no longer consider myself confused about the hypocrisy, I now just understand that it is based on an empty hate.
Understanding the existence of the empty hate has helped me understand how to help educate. I am at the beginning of my career in Education, my second year is just about to an end. I have been educated about xenophobia and bigotry. I have learned about how xenophobia and bigotry are so incredibly harmful.
My aim now is to bring awareness to this issues in the small communities I am a part of and bring about change. Yes, change is scary. But there is comfort in knowing the only constant is change. Speaking out about injustice in such a small town seems overwhelming and worsens my anxiety. However, if I speak out and that gives another person a little bit more bravery to speak out or to be who they are, then it is so worth dealing with the overwhelm and anxiety.
Sorting Through the Shit 