I create this blog in a time of uncertainty. Across the country, there are protests happening. Protests seeking justice for George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tamir Rice, and many, many more. I remember the death of Trayvon Martin. I was thirteen years old. It was the first time I can really remember hearing of a death in my lifetime that was the result of racism. I remember the death of Kendrick Johnson. It was just before my fourteenth birthday. I remember there being a lot of talk about their deaths where I come from, but I don’t remember the nature of the chatter. How many of my friends and family were openly admitting to be a racist, and how many were bravely speaking out about injustice? I wish I had been aware enough to listen back then. I am now 21.
With social media being so present in our lives, I can see now, the true nature of so many friends and family. It hurts. So many people I looked up to. So many people that I had been told to respect because of their age or the nature of our relationship. I am sorting out how to deal with the pain of growing and having to leave them behind. Maybe one day they will catch up and join me in continuing to learn and grow. Maybe they will always stay where they are. I can’t blame them for choosing to stay, whether it be in fear or comfort. There is fear in leaving comfort, it’s scary. But there is a whole entire world out there waiting to be explored. The adventure in searching for and finding those great wonders are worth leaving the comfort behind.
So, here I sit, processing what is happening our world today, things I have realized about myself, and how to continue to push through it all.
Sorting Through the Shit 